Saturday, January 2, 2010
Local convenient store Big Al's Gas and Food is currently under investigation of reports of an armed robbery at approximately 11:40pm on Sunday, October 17th. Police and eye witness reports describe the suspect as being near eight feet tall, covered in hair, and having abnormally large feet.
When asked to describe the events, shop owner Big Al responded with the following statement."I was tending to some of the broken shelves in the back of the store when out of the blue this extremely large, apelike man burst through the front door. At first I thought maybe it was some sort of prank, but I quickly realized he meant business. He was waving a vary large stick, growling and spitting all over the counters. I just washed those counters."
The suspect made off with the contents of the cash drawer, a couple pounds of toffee, and an astonishingly large amount of cat food. Estimated damages near the three thousand dollar mark.
According to eyewitness Greg Maddox the suspect fled the scene on foot, leaving oddly shaped indents in the dirt and none discrete clumps of fur in the trees. "There is no doubt in my mind that what I saw was Big Foot robbing a Gas Station. None whatsoever. says Greg. Police are offering a reward for any and all information that leads to the capture of this wanted criminal and zoological mystery.
Labels: Legacy Content